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Joke of the Day

"The fact touche and douche don't rhyme bothers me."

"So there was a kidnapping in one of the local schools Teacher woke him up though."

"My friend wants to be frozen to 273.15C after he dies. But at least we know (_) ( _)>- (_) he was 0K."

"It was when I stabbed a Capri Sun perfectly the first time, right in that grey circle, that I knew I wanted to be an assassin."

"A mugger pulls a knife and shouts ""Your money or your life!"" The victim just shurgs, keeps walking and calls over his shoulder ""I'm a postdoc, I don't have either."""

"Saying someone is doing something ""like a boss"" to me is an insult because my boss does things half assed & incorrectly then blames others"

"Straight Outta Compton left out Dr. Dreas history of abuse against women Because they didn't want to turn this drama film into a comedy!"

"Did you know about the guy that invented tampons? He went from rags to riches"

"Why didn't the monster use toothpaste? Because he said his teeth weren't loose."

"A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading ""Wife Wanted."" - The next day he received a hundred letters saying ""You can have mine."""