201751

Joke of the Day

"[1st day in hell] Devil: Your damnation will be that you are a shoe model for all eternity. Me: That's it? D: *hands me orange Crocs*"

"I saw a sign that said ""Watch for children""... ... and I thought, ""That sounds like a fair exchange"""

"What do you call Charlie Sheen having sex with his brother? Emilio Incestevez"

"What do you call two girls having their menstrual cycles? A menstrual bicycle."

"My cat Minton just swallowed a shuttle cock. Bad Minton."

"*Moses opens tablet* You have TEN unread commandments."

"What do mathematics and environmental beat mixers have in common? Al Gore rythyms"

"Joke for any location... I was at a ""place of religion or race"" the other day going through some magazines... ... I was perfectly happy till my rifle jammed."

"I never give homeless people drugs because I know they're just going to trade them for food"

"I tailgated a cop who pulled out of the doughnut shop so he'd know what it feels like when he follows me from the bars."