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Joke of the Day

"Teacher to Student Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when I am here. What sentence seemingly appropriate makes you burst into laughter?"

"What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication? Urine trouble!"

"Grab your taco, You've pulled a dyslexic Mexican."

"My gal pal: ""Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"" Me: ""Poverty."""

"A Spanish magician.. A Spanish magician says to a crowd ""on the count of three, I will vanish into thin air"" he then starts counting ""uno, dos..."" And all of a sudden he vanishes, without a tres."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two pigs playing in the mud"

"I would think you'd have to be open minded... ...to be a brain surgeon."

"Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry. Edit: FFS guys it's a ruddy joke. It doesn't have to be scientifically accurate"

"You know what really grindes my gears? When I don't push the clutch down far enough."

"I like my women like I like my wine... Six years old and locked in a cellar."