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Joke of the Day

"People who tie their sweaters around their necks look like they were giving somebody a piggyback ride before the person got Raptured."

"Why is it awful to be an egg? You only get laid once, it takes three minutes to get hard, and you come in a box with eleven others."

"A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"""

"Toilet stolen from police station Cops have nothing to go on."

"I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with."

"My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool."

"My wife called me a ""panty dropper."" She said to be more careful with the laundry next time."

"An apple a day... Keeps the non-binary away"

"I hid a spare key outside my house in a fake rock, then hid that under thousands of fake rocks filled with fake keys. Your move, burglars..."

"I'm not saying the wife's a bit rough but you can see all the blokes on the beach dressing her with their eyes."