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Joke of the Day

"If you set someone free, love them. Wait I mean, if you love someone for free, set them. That doesn't make sense. Forget it."

"GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We [pug walks by] GOD: What...the HELL...is that"

"News knowledge is important. I was discussing with a guy about the Gaza Strip. He thought it was the adhesive side of a maxi pad."

"*takes bite of food and immediately spits it out in disgust* What the?! Oh, I accidentally bought Hamburger Hinderer"

"ELI5: what is it like being 6? I'm only 5 and I'm about to turn 6."

"My girlfriend told me to stop singing ""Wonderwall"". I said Maybe!!"

"What do you call it when you torture corn to death? Macabre!"

"What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap? I can clearly see ur nuts."

"Chinese girls just aren't that into me. I wish I had more of a Tai Pei personality."

"I only have one hand.... So i shop at secondhand stores."