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Joke of the Day

"Chinese girls just aren't that into me. I wish I had more of a Tai Pei personality."

"Another beautiful day to waste the utopian potential of social media on social media."

"The baker wouldn't finish telling me how he makes bread. He said that information was on a knead-to-know basis."

"My oldest son come up to me today and said, I'm feeling suicidal, dad.' Hang in there, son' I said pointing at the spare room."

"I am married to 4 different women And it's bigamy to admit it."

"Q. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building who would hit the ground first? A. The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions."

"I told a very average joke in the cheese aisle today. The crowd went mild."

"Love is like peeing yourself.... everyone can see but only you feel the warmth."

"Fact: You can burn up to 10 calories a minutes while having sex... Related: Looking for a workout partner."

"I put an energy drink in my hummingbird feeder, now all my hummingbirds are going back in time and returning with tiny top hats."