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Joke of the Day
"A cobbler was once elected the mayor of a small town. People thought he was a real shoe-in."
Next Joke
"What's different between Asians and Caucasians? We're opposites in terms of erections and math class - one's hard for each of us, while the other isn't."
"My WD-40 can rusted. Now that's irony."
"""Say TGIF ONE more time"" I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, ""Go ahead, say it again."""
"*gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER"
"This is a fake tweet, someone asked me to put their # in my phone so I'm pretending to add it to my contacts"
"Safe sex is stupid. Safes can't get pregnant."
"I'm not surprised nobody has heard of the terrorist hairdressers? They're a fringe group."
"My dad was cutting up onions and I started tearing up. Onions was a great dog. :'("
"Christiano Ronaldo races with himself. Who won? No one. They both came second."