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Joke of the Day

"My dad was cutting up onions and I started tearing up. Onions was a great dog. :'("

"The man entered his home... and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house."

"Just saw that I have one unheard message and I didn't even see my phone ring. I hope it's not: a) Work related b) Mel Gibson"

"An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him."

"What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground? They know people will blow them."

"do the people in Fiji know we pay 4 dollars for their tap water"

"Q: What's faster than a black man stealing a T.V? A: His brother running with the V.C.R"

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus wiping off Klingons"

"The label of this bag of roasted peanuts includes a warning that they come from a plant that processes peanuts"

"Have you guys heard the joke about the airplane? I'd tell it, but it'd go over your heads.... CORNY JOKES THREAD! OP will deliver knee slappers and humdingers!"