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Joke of the Day

"Safe sex is stupid. Safes can't get pregnant."

"and on the 7th day while God was resting Satan created the Kardashian family."

"Why is one floor taller than the rest of the floors in the building? It's a long story."

"What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders? I'll take your money!"

"Can't believe I've just been banned from using Match.com. Apparently ""My dick"", is an inappropriate answer to the question What do you want most in a woman?""."

"Why do Jewish men get circumsized? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"

"What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher? ""I can't, I'm not a conductor."" Pffffffhehewheheheheheh."

"*logs into Facebook *looks at pictures of people hugging their boyfriends *comments 'is that your dad' on all of them *logs out of Facebook"

"If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically."

"My wife told me I had to give up drinking So I joined the AA. Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake. At least either way I'm on the road to recovery."