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Joke of the Day
"NOT EVERYONE WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING, MOM. SOME OF US WERE TRYING TO BREAK IT UP."
Next Joke
"Sorry to text you so late but can your dog come over?"
"Me: ""Can I buy you a drink?"" Her: ""I have a boyfriend."" Me to barman: ""A beer for me and a 'I have a boyfriend' for the lady."""
"Pros don't ever use the Tip."
"I thought it was odd that there is a Bass Pro Shop and a Dicks in the same shopping center.... But then I realized Bass Pro does attract dicks!"
"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... ...so I went out and got drunk."
"Kids here's a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning"
"Pick up line: Girl, do you run a Gorilla exhibit at the zoo? Because I want to drop a baby in you."
"I watched my first porno film last week.... I looked so much younger then."
"What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates? Mom & Dad"