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Joke of the Day

"My silent frog died... After a noiseless life and a drawn out death, the little guy finally croaked."

"No one's laugh sounds like ""bwahahaha."" NO one."

"Have you guys seen how expensive it is nowadays to fill your bicycle tires? Damn inflation..."

"I use to be addicted to the Hokie Pokie.... but I turned myself around."

"Help, I just sunk the wrong submarine and I need legal advice Whoops! Wrong sub."

"[consoling widow] I was the one who put the kick me sign on your husband. I had no idea you owned a horse that can read"

"I like how the dude in the next self-checkout lane is trying to disarm me with small talk like we don't both know this is a goddamn race"

"Why don't ants go to church? Because they are in sects!"

"Why did the baker's hands stink? Because he needed a crap."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? Matt. No arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob."