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Joke of the Day

"What did Davey Crocket say at the Alamo? ""Where'd all the roofers come from?"""

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"Ordered a honey bee kit off Amazon. Can't wait to tell my co-workers all the benefits of honey that I Googled right before telling them."

"I've never seen squirrels fucking, but they've never seen me fucking either, so we have that in common."

"I'm pretty sure that spiders have figured out that I'm terrified of them, and have created a game to see who can make me flip out the most."

"Did you hear about the mutant that had a sex change? She's an Ex-Man"

"If you spend ""up to $9000"" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by."

"How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb? 100. One to change it and 99 to stand around and say, ""Hey, I could've done that!"""

"Before clicking on a link from an unknown source, ask yourself this ""Am I an idiot?"". If you answered yes, then it's okay to click the link."

"Is it okay to kiss a nun? Sure, a long as you don't get in the habit."