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Joke of the Day

"What is a difference between those who left USSR for Canada in 1972 and those who left USSR in and after 1991. In 1972, people ran from Socialism, and in 1991 into Socialism."

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish."

"Why would the Higgs Boson feel unsafe in a country where the leader openly practiced genocide? It would be a land of mass-murder"

"What's the most annoying thing someone can say? Nevermind."

"Whats a cab drivers favorite song? Livin' on a fare!"

"What's the only thing that grows in Oakland? A: The Crime Rate!"

"""I have a particular set of spills,"" Liam Neeson says, eyeing his soiled shirt. He looks for a napkin but the last one's already been Taken."

"*rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!"

"What do you call a Mexican knight? The Chosen Juan."