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Joke of the Day

"What is a difference between those who left USSR for Canada in 1972 and those who left USSR in and after 1991. In 1972, people ran from Socialism, and in 1991 into Socialism."

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"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."
"[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish."
"Why would the Higgs Boson feel unsafe in a country where the leader openly practiced genocide? It would be a land of mass-murder"
"What's the most annoying thing someone can say? Nevermind."
"Whats a cab drivers favorite song? Livin' on a fare!"
"What's the only thing that grows in Oakland? A: The Crime Rate!"
"""I have a particular set of spills,"" Liam Neeson says, eyeing his soiled shirt. He looks for a napkin but the last one's already been Taken."
"*rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!"
"What do you call a Mexican knight? The Chosen Juan."