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Joke of the Day

"Kanye walks into a museum in Finland. ""Imma let you Finnish,"" he snickers. The entire tour laughs. They're all Kanye, too. And so are you."

"Don't get cute with the live version of your song. We like the one on the album."

"Well-behaved is past tense for me."

"When you put the punchline in the title... How do you ruin a joke?"

"On talk shows, whenever the celebrity guest takes a casual sip from their branded mug, I like to imagine it's full of blood"

"When you call shotgun, but the police put you in the back-seat anyway."

"What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!"

"I like to abbrev."

"So U.S. Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia died today while on a hunting trip... ...he must have gone with Dick Cheney."

"What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Licker cabinet."