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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a snake that informs the police ? A grass snake !"

"*runs my fingers thru your hair* *tightens grip* *pulls your head back* *looks you in the eye* Me: WTF do you mean you ate the last donut?"

"I'm never satisfied with my haircuts at first... ...but then they grow on me."

"I like my women like I like my coffee horny"

"What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt? Usain Bolt can actually finish a race."

"How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing? Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets."

"Justin Bieber gets 40,000 retweets just for tweeting 'Hello', so here's my attempt: Hele0iM1. Ah, harder than it looks. Fair play to him."

"""LBJ"" was a president... Not a Spanish term for Hump Day activities."

"What is a pirate's least favorite letter? A letter from the cable company..."

"I thought my daughter was studying oceanography It turns out she was just a C student"