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Joke of the Day

"When I've had a bad day I remind myself that I'm a straight white guy. Then I high five some dudes and we destroy an ecosystem or some shit."

"If Trump wins the election I am __________________ Fill in the blank"

"*looks east* ah, the atlantic ocean *looks west* ah, the pacific ocean *sees a bunch of idiots raving about mediocre r&b* ah,the Frank Ocean"

"""Why can't anything be easy?!?"" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual."

"What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment? ma'lady"

"What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus."

"Chuck Norris walked in a chinese restaurant and asked for Chicken Parmesan with Bruschetta bread...and got it."

"People who write hai and bai, wai?"

"Just started coaching some retarded children in football The passing isn't very good yet, but the dribbling is fantastic."

"What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler? Executed."