117310

Joke of the Day

"""Why can't anything be easy?!?"" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual."

"My boss wanted me to sign up for the company 401k. I told him, ""No way, do you have any idea how far that is?"""

"If masturbation really made you blind... ... how come I'm still able to typaanco goauma oa,"

"I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would've been a lot more interesting."

"How do you know Axe was invented by black people? If it was white people who invented it, it would be called Ask."

"How does NASA organize their missions. They Planet."

"I had a rough childhood. I couldn't play with toys that required supervision I only had regular vision"

"Bartender: A shot of whiskey can cleanse the soul Me: *thinks back to the time I ""experimented"" in college* I'll take 27 bottles please"

"Best Jocks https://www.reddit.com/r/Reddit50/comments/3p9d9z/girl_you_remind_me_of_an_alarm_clock/"

"a little corny but here it goes...what can u make with onions and baked beans? tear gas"