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Joke of the Day

"I approach sex and parking the same way Get close enough to the end while still being able to safely pull out."

"Well, Norah on FB has decided to continue her thankfulness through December and I have decided to key her car after dinner"

"How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? When your writing becomes visible."

"I like Jews how I like my cookies. Cooked in an oven"

"So they finally proved the last part of Einstein theory of relativity. It's about time."

"A man walks into a bar *ouch*"

"Your tweets are so boring the NSA just unfollowed you."

"I have a confession too Oprah. For years I have been stealing statuses from all over the Internet and passing them off as my own original thoughts."

"My wife just said ""I'm pregnant!"" I said ""Hi pregnant, I'm dad!"""

"Asked a Target employee if I could open this camera before I buy it and he said he wouldn't even care if I killed someone in front of him."