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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar *ouch*"

"If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works."

"Why was Vladimir late to gym class? cause he was Putin his shoes on XD"

"If your product's third layer is for absorbency, I don't want to see the commercial at dinnertime."

"How do jockeys stay on their horses? Jockey straps."

"What's the policy at French morgues? Baguette and tag it."

"It's OK if you don't like my personality,,, I've got others."

"Waiter what's this bug doing waltzing around my table ! It's the band sir they are playing his tune !"

"I went to a karaoke bar last night. I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music... at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified."

"[lifts $1000 apple watch to my face] Wrist computer: show me where hot dogs are."