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Joke of the Day

"Got a big audition coming up that requires me to tell a good school appropriate joke. I have plenty of jokes, none of them school appropriate. I thought I'd come here for help."

Next Joke
 
"How do you make two Oboists play in tune with one another? Shoot one of them."
"What do you call a Dinosaur serial killer? A terror-Dactyl"
"I said I don't want to talk to you, I didn't say ignore me. WOMEN"
"If you find me passed out in Austin this weekend with a penis drawn on my face at least have the decency to not tag me in the facebook pic."
"If you steal my tweets I'll just unfollow you cuz your tweets are terrible."
"Valentine's Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I'm still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I'm not getting cheated on."
"What do you call a midget physic that has escaped from prison?? A small medium at large"
"What do porn and heavy metal have in common? Both used to have a lot more hair back in the 70's and 80's"
"Boss: Everyone is behind schedule and making excuses. Does everybody here think I'm an idiot Me: Don't ask. They swore me to secrecy."