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Joke of the Day

"Valentine's Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I'm still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I'm not getting cheated on."

"I can do number tricks in my head They do cartwheels and handstands."

"I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help people."

"Where do old bowling balls end up? In the gutter!"

"How do you show a Muslim Girl you're into her? You pull your Dick Out for Haram Bae"

"There are two things a bloodhound can smell and can't smell A man's sweat and sweat"

"if a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ..i just get in the back seat"

"I lost ten pounds! Learn my hot diet secret! (I replaced booze with pot)"

"Nothing says authentic Chinese food like a neon ""We Delivery"" sign."

"So PSY's song ""Dear American"" includes the lyric ""Kill them all slowly and painfully"" and now I understand what Gangnam Style was all about."