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Joke of the Day
"The guy at the urinal next to me must really like my wrist watch."
Next Joke
"Mama Bear: Ok but last time Papa Bear: Thanks, babe [she puts on a Goldilocks wig] Mama Bear (falsetto): I can't sleep here! It's toooo hard"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Burton ! Burton who ? Burton in the hand is worth two in the bush !"
"Mad Max: Fury Road fans never actually watched the movie they WITNESSED it."
"Why couldn't Joe get to home? He was a Mets fan."
"I texted my boss, ""What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"" He answered, ""I don't know."" I replied, ""I'm not coming in this morning."""
"Why do bird watchers invest so much money in breast cancer awareness? Because they are greatly satisfied by seeing Tucans."
"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes."
"Director: so, you'll be playing this regular guy... Johnny Depp: no thanks."
"How do the Chinese select their baby names? They chuck a tin can down the stairs Ping Wong ching Pang"