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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub."

"God I'm so stupid I was looking all over for my car keys, turns out they were on my head the entire time."

"Lucie introduced me to the phrase ""peanut butter and jealous"" and I can never go back to what I so blindly called a ""life"" before"

"I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet."

"[train station] Man: hey you. Woman: Hi. M: i'm Christian. W: That's a pickup line? *rolls eyes, walks away M: ugh. i hate my name."

"What advantage do gay black guys have over gay white guys? They only have to come out to their mother."

"What do a baby and a martini have in common? I prefer both of them shaken"

"Headache Doc: Hows your headache? Husband: She's fine."

"The definition of Baroque: A time when there is no Monet."

"How are a frying pan and a beautiful woman similar? You have to get them both hot before you put the meat in."