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Joke of the Day

"My initial goal is to get really, really fat and be a contestant on The Biggest Loser."

"There used to be an ad campaign that said ""go to work on an egg""... I tried that, the egg wouldn't move and eventually it cracked, so I went to work on a bicycle as I usually do."

"Barry decided that because he had talked himself out of suicide every other day, today he would do it. Poor fucker always did take opposite day a bit too seriously."

"How do moms from West Virginia know when their daughters start their period? Their son's dick starts tasting like blood"

"I'm worried about my girlfriend recently... I'm always worried if shes eating well, sleeping well, or if she exists at all."

"Fun game: Take pictures with your camera sound turned up when someone comes into the bathroom stall next to yours"

"If you're hitting the gas every time she tries to open the passenger side door, remember, the 8th time is always the funniest."

"Yo mama is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook"

"I've got a great joke Only joking"

"What do you call a frat house in a quarry? A bromine."