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Joke of the Day

"What do calenders eat? Nothing. Calenders are inanimate objects that are used to keep track of the date and important events."

"Google changed to Alphabet Mostly alpha, not making it to bet-"

"I'm fat and get laughed at when I say I have an eating disorder But I wouldn't be fat if I could stop eating disorder, datorder, and da other one too"

"In my opinion guys should only us two fragrances of Old Spice deodorant... Fuji or Timber... but that's just my two scents."

"People with eyebrow, nose, and lip piercings always look like they landed face-first into a tackle box."

"Me: If you don't like my rules, maybe you can find a different mom. 4yo: *excitedly* Can we really do that?"

"Adele has confirmed that her new album will be called 25... Not for her current age, but for the number of snickers bars she had for breakfast"

"How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing? not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7"

"I thought about making a cripple joke... ... but it would be lame."

"What do you call a Saudi cow? A moo-slim"