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Joke of the Day

"I'm fat and get laughed at when I say I have an eating disorder But I wouldn't be fat if I could stop eating disorder, datorder, and da other one too"

"So I heard that Israel recently passed a law to cap banker's salaries... It'll be repealed within 8 to 9 days."

"*Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *packs for wall 3 feet away *has an amazing time at wall"

"I always thought 007 had split personality disorder... When he's spying: James Bond. When he's chasing tail: James Boned."

"What article of clothing is round and rubbery? Attire."

"What is the difference between a feminist and a walrus? A walrus has at least two valid points."

"Always heard this on the playground growing up... Pete and Repeat were in a boat, but Pete fell out. Who was left?..."

"Almost had a threesome last night.... Just needed two more people (Sure its been done before but I couldn't resist)"

"What do you call fake excrement? Shampoo."

"The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I'm done picking my nose, I'm gonna smile and wave."