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Joke of the Day

"doctor: ""is there anything that runs in the family?"" wife: ""hm not really"" me: ""the dog jogs a lot"""

"I wish lucid dreaming was more controllable Not the duration of lucid dreaming but the destinations I visit. I'm tired of going to McDonalds at 2am"

"Which is faster hot or cold? Hot, cause you can catch a cold!"

"Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem."

"Oh you wear sunglasses inside? lt must be sunny on planet cool."

"How is anal sex like your first car? It may not be exactly what you wanted but that doesn't stop your Dad from giving it to you anyway."

"What's Spider-Man's least favourite rice brand? Uncle Ben's..."

"Glow in the dark condoms. Now you see it, now you don't! Now you see it, now you don't! Now you see it, now you don't! ..."

"What's the worst part about being black and Jewish? Having to sit at the back of the oven with the rest of the dirty niggers."

"You know people who call their penis wood? Can they say they have a two-by-fore-skin?"