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Joke of the Day

"I felt like a fool when I bought David Bowie tickets for my son and then remembered that he died last year... Even more so when I remembered that David Bowie died too."

"Her: You ate that entire bag of fried cheese snacks? Him: Thought you said they were baked. Her: I said YOU were baked."

"Why are there no gay men in the army reserves? All of the fruits are diploid"

"Bad: I saw my girlfriend's name and number on a couple of men's bathroom walls.. Worse: It was in her handwriting..."

"It turns out the town drunk is an exorcist. Since his last visit, there are no more spirits in the liquor store."

"Perfect pickup line No, baby, those aren't warts, I'm just ribbed for your pleasure."

"I am so sorry to hear about your grandma... I know what you're going through my phone dies all the time."

"What do churches and guns have in common? They both go PEW PEW PEW"

"What Did the Sadist Do to the Masochist? Nothing."

"I work out religiously... On christmas and Easter!"