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Joke of the Day

"I bought zombie insurance recently it was a no brainer"

"What do you call a midget in a Mental Asylum? I don't really know, but it sounds a little crazy"

"Hostess:There's a 45 min wait Me:Do you know who I am? I have THOUSANDS of followers! H:Let me ask my manager *2 min later H:It'll be 43 min"

"Adrian Peterson regrets leaving marks on his son after the spanking... ... and that's the bottom line."

"I dream of becoming a selfie photographer.. I can just picture myself doing it."

"You'd think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would've been up for a performance review by now."

"why couldn't the imperial guard sniff out the money trail in skyrim? because of a deviated septim"

"For tax purposes, my carpe is now per diem."

"Why does a woman smile when walking down the aisle? She knows that she no longer has to give blow jobs."

"you are doing that too much. try again in 2 minutes Guess I shared to many Redditt posts too soon Or ""that's what she said"" he he"