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Joke of the Day

"Adrian Peterson regrets leaving marks on his son after the spanking... ... and that's the bottom line."

"I wish people who made amateur porn would clean up their rooms first."

"What did the necktie say to the hat? I'll hang around here, you go on ahead."

"I bought a fitbit that's connected to the GPS in my car. Even though I punch in coordinates to a restaurant, it always takes me to the gym."

"Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex."

"Lets write a joke I'll give you of two the punch lines, you give me the setup: Punch line #1: That's the line time I'll go to that bar. Punch line #2: Liquor, I don't even like her."

"When I use my grandmother's cast iron skillet I feel close to her. Even though she's way, way up there repairing the space station"

"My dad ""Girls are the devil, always remember that son"" says my married father while we were eating supper in front of my mother/his wife"

"If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child what would he be called? A subordinate claus."

"What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle ? 2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)"