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Joke of the Day

"What a gorgeous day to walk around outside staring at my phone."

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"If I had 2 fish I would name them 1 and 2 so if 1 died I would still have 2."
"I always get a ""Yes"" from women, but it's usually followed by ""That's him, officer."""
"My Spanish teacher taught me the word for ""Transgender"" I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine"
"Raising awareness: Pinatas create unhealthy expectations of levitating rainbow donkeys."
"Why was the girl's bellybutton bruised? Because her boyfriend was blind."
"What Kind of Pee Comes Out Your Butt? Poo Pee."
"[Infomercial] HOST: Wanna learn how to lose up to 15 pounds with one simple trick?!? AUDIENCE: Yes! HOST: Here's how! *rips off his own arm*"
"A naked woman robbed a bank yesterday Nobody could remember her face."
"Sure, Michelle Obama said those words first but Melania Trump had the imagination to say them like an operative in a cold war spy thriller."