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Joke of the Day

"*Runs a bath Me: ok, jump in 3: it's too hot *Adds cold water Me: Ok, get in 3: it's too cold Apparently I gave birth to Goldilocks."

"A blind man walks into a bar..."

"The police never think its as funny as you do."

"Nice shoes. Where'd you get them? Him: ... *peeks under bathroom stall* Did you hear me?"

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub."

"The joke's not here.... It's in the comments."

"My girlfriend was crying because she had gum in her hair. I told her to cut it out."

"Here's a joke about my senior year of college. I tried."

"I would never cheat in a relationship because that would require two people finding me attractive."

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too! Hey Reddit! What is your favorite Mitch Hedburg joke?"