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Joke of the Day

"You send yourself a message through time. ""Invest in google"" it says. You don't have money in the past either. Nothing Changes"

"Those novelty New Years glasses look so stupid. So I wear glasses that say ""Yesterday"" because it makes me wise beyond my years."

"Instead of a DING DONG sound, I wish my doorbell would explain to the person how much I don't want to get off the couch."

"My 1-year-old thought it was funny to put food in my mouth. It was cute with Skittles. Then she switched to dog food."

"Do you know how to disappoint a fellow Redditor? [deleted] Why would you fall for this again?"

"I bet ninjas have the worst gas... ...because they're silent but deadly."

"What's Irish and stays out all year? Patty O'furniture."

"hey ther delilah wats it like in gotham city is the joker stil in jail-- sory-- i mean-- u look so prety yes u do batman is not as cool as u"

"it's better to give than to receive Especially, if it's anal."

"What's your favorite word? 5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel."