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Joke of the Day

"What's your favorite word? 5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel."

"Did you hear about the blonde that tried to walk around the world? She drowned."

"Game of Thrones: Now with 100 percent more zombies! The Walking Dead should fire back by adding kingdoms."

"I've been contemplating legally changing my name to 'An End', so that all good things must come to me."

"What do you call an old man whose retarded? Bernie Sanders!!"

"Did you hear about the thalidomide porn star? He had an arm like a baby's cock."

"I don't play fantasy football, but I do play fantasy friendship. This week I'm starting Taylor Swift and Conan O'Brien."

"Why didn't they just call ""Ant-Man"" Uncle? Credit to Steve Higgins from The Tonight Show."

"What did the depressed dolphin say? I need a porpoise."

"How did the Endorian get to school every day? Ewok'd."