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Joke of the Day

"How many Cowboys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they have Giants for that kinda shit."

"Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!"

"On the holidays I got quite drunk and being responsible decided to take a taxi home It's still in my backyard what do you guys think I should do with it?"

"Wanna hear my favorite 4/20 joke? Heh... what?"

"What does Mr. Miyagi do during his alone time? Whacks on, whacks off."

"I want to become a waiter so I can hear a lot of people say ""Ish reaahy ghuud."""

"confession: when my barber spins me around and hands me a mirror to check the back I just fake it. Who is even that coordinated?"

"Yoko Ono is apparently being lined up to assist with the bush tucker trials in the I'm a Celebrity jungle. After all she has been living off a dead beetle for the last 36 years."

"The other day a man knocked on my door and asked me for a small donation towards the local swimming pool... I gave him a glass of water."

"My wife doesn't know... That every time we have sex, I put a dollar into an envelope that goes toward her Christmas present. So far, she's getting a candy bar."