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Joke of the Day

"My anti-social behavior reached a new high today when I was un-invited to a wedding, and it made my day."

"Why do Hutus hate Dustin Hoffman? He impersonated a Tootsie."

"At the rate this year's going so far... I'm probably not going to get that puppy for Christmas."

"Sarah Palin's political integrity. Because she's ~~a woman~~ an idiot."

"What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic? A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. ~ Infinite Jest, by DFW"

"Why did the guy with a 7-days-a-week sexual job look forward to the weekend? Because his favorite part of sexual intercourse is the BEGINNING and END!"

"I would tell you all a chemistry joke But it probably wouldn't get a reaction"

"What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand."

"I was working on a new rape joke, but i couldn't get the punchline to flow right. It just came off sounding too forced."

"I was going to tell a time travel joke... But I already told it."