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Joke of the Day

"You know what Popeye and Napoleon have in common? They both come on those little jugs of Olive Oil."

"I cannot stand sitting beside a racist person. because its impossible to sit and stand simultaneously.."

"I was having a nightmare where a dude said he was going to kill me if I could not make him laugh... so I said... What gas leaves a pirate speechless? . . . Argon"

"Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance."

"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull."

"I once won an argument with a woman...in this dream I had."

"What do you call a prostitute giving a blowjob under a bridge? Nothing. That's a low blow."

"What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? A Lickalotopuss!"

"Your mother has the prettiest teeth I ever came across."

"What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain? A *smaugasbord*."