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Joke of the Day

"A hobbyist metalsmith was arrested for displaying his handmade pennies in public. What was he charged with? Indie-cent exposure."

"What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2? He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!"

"What do you call a nun in a wheel-chair? Virgin Mobile!"

"What's the definition of perfect pitch? Throwing a banjo into a dumpster and hitting an accordion with it."

"How can you lose around 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"[SPOILER] Who is going to die in the new Star Wars? Some Stormtrooper"

"When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with"

"Know any 9/11 jokes? I'll start it off. knock knock *who's there?* 9/11 *9/11 who?* you said you'd never forget!"

"5 out of 5 coworkers think I should be wearing pants. All of them are from HR though, and who knew they could get to my cubicle that fast."

"So you need Andy Reid to take you to the airport for an international flight... lol you didn't learn anything from 2004?"