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Joke of the Day

"How can you lose around 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)"

"I just read an article about a woman who killed her husband, boiled his body, and turned it into homemade jelly she kept in her pantry! It was really jarring."

"What's so great about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus."

"How amphetamine addiction is called? Need for Speed."

"What's the difference between LSD and my dad? LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me."

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to eat your sandwiches."

"I don't watch soccer... If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would take my friends to the bar."

"I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one"

"How does a crazy person travel through the woods? They take the psychopath."