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Joke of the Day

"A lot of kids these days don't even want to be sailors... ...but it's just so easy to give in to ""pier"" pressure."

"Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the television."

"What's the best way to make your wife angry during sex? Call her and tell her where you are."

"Two men walk into a bar. The first says, ""i'll have some H20"". The second says, ""sounds good, I'll have some H20 too"" The second man [died](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrogen_peroxide)."

"""""When people cut you down. Or talk behind your back. Remember they took time out of their pathetic lives, To think about you."""""

"Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?"

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice. I know this is an old one but i didn't see on here so why not."

"What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet? I am the extruder..."

"Kraft have just opened up a new factory in Jerusalem... They've called it 'Cheeses of Nazareth'."

"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen"