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Joke of the Day

"Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the television."

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"

"Did you hear about the snail who bought himself a Ferrari and painted a big yellow ""S"" on the side? Now wherever he drives, people watch and say ""Look at that S-car go!"""

"A guy walked into a bar. He was brought to the closest hospital quickly."

"What do you call a dwarf tattoo artist? An Inkling."

"What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered."

"Politicians are a lot like diapers... They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons. (Benjamin Franklin)"

"Star Wars Episode VII is like a used car lot. (spoilers) It's where you can see an old Hyundai"

"An excaped convict fell out of a polishing machine and landed on a worker. He was struck by a smooth criminal."

"Who has two thumbs and a concealed identity? Disguise!"