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Joke of the Day

"What's with people thinking white people shoot up schools? I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools."

"I asked to switch seats because there was a god damn SCREAMING infant next to me, and I couldn't sleep. They told me no. Apparently you're not allowed to move away from your own child."

"I stand at airplane arrival gates with a ""SAMANTHA"" sign, then cry after everyone's exited until airport security brings me soup. Free soup!"

"Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because you'll never get that job."

"I'VE GOT (( PROBLEMS AND A STUCK SHIFT KEY IS ONE."

"I'm really good at telling old jokes, and fixing fences... I guess I'm just good at reposting"

"Wrestling is so stupid..... .....Men with no pants fighting for a belt"

"I've just invented a new word. plagiarism"

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. Pee is yellow. Shit is brown. I am drunk. This is a tweet."

"I was gonna tell a racist joke But fuck it, its too dark"