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Joke of the Day

"3 words that wins a girl's heart. Suck my dick"

"How do you call a game console named after an MMA fighter? Nate DS"

"Wait a second, so violence is an actual resort? That place sounds wonderful."

"I just ate raw chicken fingers And then I threw up gang signs."

"I just had to add ""velociraptor"" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something."

"What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major."

"If your girl says ""Hey guess what!"" you better already have your super excited blown away face picked out for whatever nonsense comes next."

"One day I shall solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be alcohol."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife died."

"We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris."