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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a dry handjob. Sometimes its painful sometimes its enjoyable most of the time its hard but mostly your just happy it keeps goin"

"[dentist giving me a filling] Me: guh uh hag a hogreg? Dentist stops: what? Me: do you have a boyfriend?"

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"If you're at a bar & see a security camera, make the Halpert Face at it. If the cops are ever reviewing the footage, it'll give em a laugh"

"Hats off to those people brave enough to wear those silly New Years hats at work. No... I meant take your hats off. You look stupid."

"A teacher keeps on talking. Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!"

"Why was the broom late? It overswept. *BadJokesBestJokes.*"

"Why did Jared stop eating subway? (NSFW) Because now he prefers cheese pizza"

"Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job? Because he had a crack addiction."

"Heard that the Lord Of The Rings author had a bit of a stammer. I tried to get his attention this one time and he said, ""Jay, are are you Tolkein to me?"""