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Joke of the Day

"Hats off to those people brave enough to wear those silly New Years hats at work. No... I meant take your hats off. You look stupid."

"I got fired from my job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way."

"My husband and I play this game where we buy potato chips the other one doesn't like so we don't have to share."

"The C in Closed is open... but the O in Open is closed"

"What did a pirate say to fellow pirate? Are you seeding?"

"How did the hipster break his neck? He jump off the diving board before it was pool."

"I just released my mixtape in Tianjin. It was da bomb. Too soon?"

"Don't mess with me! I've got a black belt... It's brown on the other side."

"Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one' So when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'"

"What's the difference between pickled ginger and a pressure washer? One is a palate cleanser, the other is a pallet cleanser."