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Joke of the Day

"I took a class on Narcissism. I'm pretty sure I blew everyone away."

"The most important organ I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what's telling me that."

"What do you call a one-legged Asian woman? Irene."

"How I like my women I like my women like I like my scotch. Twelve years old and mixed up with coke."

"Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato? A: Write a whole note with ""solo"" above it."

"At what age do you tell a highway it's adopted???"

"The other day I saw Denzel Washington walking down the street. I shouted to him ,""Hey Denzel!"" He responded, ""Does every black man look like Denzel Washington to you?"" Classic Denzel."

"Why did the grammar nazi request someone else's tombstone to be placed on his grave? He was a big fan of transferred epitaph."

"My dad told me that the future was in my hands Didn't know that the future was 9 inches long"

"I'm gonna buy some cheese and put it behind glass with a sign that reads ""In queso emergency, break glass"""