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Joke of the Day

"Why did the grammar nazi request someone else's tombstone to be placed on his grave? He was a big fan of transferred epitaph."

"50% of fatherhood is repeating yourself. Other 50% is untangling your kid from the shirt stuck on their head cause you didn't unbutton it."

"Wanna heare a joke about potassium? K"

"What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon? The second one is a race for the cure. Source:http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3180"

"I tell my child, ""10 minutes till bed!"" She hears me say, ""Go put on a Halloween costume."" Why?"

"Going out with two gay men tonight; I know they're my competition, but I've seen them consume bananas and I think I can take them."

"TIFU by clicking on a useless post."

"I don't like my new hair cut... But it's growing on me."

"How Does Snoop Dogg Do His Laundry? He uses a lot of BLEAYOTCH!"

"Jared Fogle's updated diet writes itself a Subway sandwich for breakfast, a Subway sandwich for lunch, and FUCKIN' CRAZY ASS 14 YEAR OLD COKE WHORES TILL DAWN!"