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Joke of the Day

"Do you want to hear a joke about pussies? You probably won't get it."

"[1st date] HER: My favorite movie is Zoolander, how bout u? ME: OMG SAME HER: What part's ur fave? ME: Um [sweating] when he lands a zoo"

"When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them."

"High heels are just regular heels that live in Colorado Haha we make jokes on here to try to keep the enveloping darkness at bay"

"Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory? Because she was fed up with the hole business."

"How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero because it's already lit fam."

"macklemore could poop into his own bare hands onstage & half the write-ups would be ""ah finally a rapper who isn't obsessed with shiny cars"""

"A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery. He was found praying with friars."

"What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!"

"They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone."