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Joke of the Day

"Not to brag, but I know exactly what to do in a crisis. I'm really good at panicking. ^^^I ^^^panicked.. ^^^I ^^^meant ^^^to ^^^say ^^^Packing"

"If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with"

"ME: Hi I'd like to apply for a job as a contortionist ""When can you come in for an interview?"" ME: I'm flexible"

"What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory? Two testicles."

"If you're in a hot dog eating contest, poop on the table, and then while everyone is too grossed out to eat, just finish one hot dog."

"BREAKING NEWS A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case."

"What is the difference between a gay man and a freezer? A freezer doesn't fart when you pull meat out of it."

"Why do brits have sex more than any other nationality? Because with Cameron in charge they're always going to be fucked."

"Did you hear Vladimir Putin made a travel sized Russia? It is the perfect country to Putin your pocket."

"My Korean friend died last week... So Yung"