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Joke of the Day

"Good job I am very surprised that no one has made a 9/11 joke. I would of thought that 9 times out of 11 that I would see one."

"How did I win a Super Smash Bros. Brawl Tournament? I met a knight"

"FACT: if a cop says FREEZE and then you say ""now everybody clap yo hands"" he has to drop his gun and clap and then you can get away."

"I hate it when my sock puppets fight. I don't have a free hand to break them up."

"Why can't you trust stairs? Because they are always up to something."

"If Adrian Peterson is getting indicted for spanking his kid with a stick my mom should get the electric chair."

"I'm 20 years old, and my SO is 9 months pregnant."

"Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf ... but he didn't listen."

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"Why is Jesus Christ so buff? Crossfit"